The Watcher

The body wastes away and the eyes dim and the Watcher calls for peace.

The Watchers meet each other's eyes.

Words drift away

Inadequate, stupid words 

Suddenly the Watcher knows how much of her life is inadequate and stupid. 

She twines her fingers with the end of the road body

She prays her soul twines with the One who travels on

"Take me with you" she begs. She takes out her thread and needle and stitches herself to his shadow.

A new journey sounds so sweet to her.

"Take me with you!" she demands. 

Binding herself as best she can to the promise of reunion with the One who made her

She bows her head

"Soon you will have more room; with what will you fill it?" her voice asks. She swats the question away.

We are all Watchers.

Witnesses of fabulous folly, fatigued by the inadequate and stupid fabric of our lives

She plunges her needle into the Father's Shadow

"I will not be left behind," she shouts. "I will not live like this another day."

Her Voice persists. "With what will you fill the upcoming space?"

"I will twine my body with my husbands," she answers, unthinkingly.

"Good choice."

That gets her attention. 

"It is?" 

She wonders. She rarely gives the right answer the first time. Or the second. Or the third.

"Yes. It is. That is your destiny."

Soak me up, Moonbeam. Caress me. I sink into your arms and rest rest rest. 

Splay me out, Sun. Flay the layers of inadequate and stupid and rid me of my excess skin. 

A sputtering cough catches her attention. The Watcher engaged--enraged to be steeped in stupid.

She answers with a tone. Discovers the power of the moan. The healing of the groan.

Sun and Moon meet for a dance. 

"My romance is my destiny?" she questions. It seems too easy. "It can't be that easy."

Absorb me Apollo. 

I sink into you easily and happily and completely. 

"Are you sure I am not escaping?" she asks. 

"Oh human. Why are you so convinced it is supposed to be hard?"

As she Watches the Father sleep away from her, she ponders the question. 

"I just like the idea of sinking into him so much, that I feel as if it can't possibly be the answer."

She looks at the wasted frame, a snapshot of her life newly recorded.

She gets it. The lesson. All that matters is the perfection of connection.

For in this moment she knows she will want her own Watchers one day, one day, one day 

An Unconventional Obituary

Paul David Bednarowski, husband of Lois Bednarowski and father of Katy (Tony) Madson, Sara Sullivan, Karen (Ronnie) Mullins, and Paul (Shannon) Bednarowski, brother of Keith (Mary) Bednarowski and Tom (Mary)Bednarowski, grandfather to Anthony Madson (30), Elizabeth Madson (22), Emily Madson (21) Emma Bednarowski (17), George Mullins (17), Lucy Mullins (15), Ellie Bednarowski (14), Mary Lois Sullivan (14), and Mae Mullins (12) and great friend to many, passed away on October 19th at the age of 78 in his Fairhope home. Paul was preceded in death by his beloved parents Paul and Irene Bednarowski.

It's not hard to pinpoint the special qualities Paul brought to the lives of those who knew and loved him. All describe him as a dependable source of steady and powerful love. His children remember calling out "Daddy's home!" and racing to the front door, where he set down his briefcase and opened his arms to receive big hugs at the 6 o'clock family reunion. After a quick change of clothes (that smelled of what the young kids later learned was unique to the paper mill), family dinner was had, board games played, wrestling engaged in, and tissues collected after a family viewing of The Waltons or Little House on the Prairie. Later, as the kids got older, Algebra tutoring replaced the board games (there were still tears!) and family dinners were worked around soccer, basketball, football and volleyball practices and games, which were sometimes coached and always attended by this quiet, thoughtful, well-loved man.

As a husband, (what a husband!) the 56 years are seen by Lois as the greatest gift of her life. Supported, loved, and appreciated by Paul who was always willing to say "yes" to her wants and whims, whether that meant putting on a rhinestone belt buckle and square dancing on Friday nights, traveling to foreign lands, donning a tuxedo and dancing past his 9 o'clock bedtime, Lois can't imagine a life without her best friend and perfect partner. It will be hard and awful and lonely, but she strives to rest in appreciation and gratitude for the many years of love, and pats herself on the back for choosing such a wonderful father for her children and grandfather for their children. Well-done Lois! 

His brothers recall a cribbage-loving Paul who won and lost many a quarter over the span of at least 70 of his 78 years of life. Shelled peanuts (they all loved peanuts!) and beverages (they all loved wine and beer!) and math (why did they all love math?!) equaled long nights of laughter and camaraderie. His brothers were his friends. His brothers already miss him. 

And so do his friend-friends. Too numerous to name, but they are many: his old school-friends from Menasha, WI; his college friends from the University of Wisconsin; his Scott paper friends (did we mention his 33 years of working for Scott Paper Company/KC?); his investment club friends; his supper club friends; his volunteer friends from Thomas Hospital; his Quail Creek friends, his St. Vincent DePaul friends, his church friends; the Packer Nation! we could go on and on. We lost a good man, didn't we? It's ok. We will see him again.

And we know that is true because above all, Paul was a man of faith. His mother prayed the rosary at his bedside as he spent two long years bedridden from rheumatic fever. His brother his faithful favorite playmate, his parents supporting him in prayer, Paul learned patience and gratitude (and math!) at home in the loving arms of his family. And as he lived by faith, so he died, with his loving family gathered around him praying the rosary. Can you imagine that? Isn't it wonderful? As Mary was assumed into heaven, Paul took his last breath, and it was sad, but also beautiful.

Is there more to say? Of course there is, but we don't need to go on because you knew him. You will recount your own stories of Paul as you sit with your friends and families at dinner, take out your cribbage boards at home, and watch the Packers roll into the Super Bowl year after year (it could happen!) His family thanks you for being a rich part of his life. We are all better for knowing him, and that is enough. 

Please join us as we celebrate his life at his home parish St. Lawrence Catholic Church in Fairhope, AL, on Saturday October 29, 2022. Visitation will be held in the St. Lawrence Room, with mass at 11 o'clock, and a luncheon reception in the St. Lawrence room at 12 o'clock. All are welcome.

Daddy

 His little children giggle as he Fe Fi Fo Fum's up the stairs

His giant's laugh deep and delicious as we await our goodnight prayers

Tucking us in tight, little mummies in our beds

Wrapping us in love with sweet kisses on our heads

Oh Daddy. How impeccably you have lived your life. Your shoulders broad and strong supporting your children and your wife. 

We are so grateful.

So grateful, Daddy

And proud. Proud of this man who put us on those broad shoulders so we could see the parade of life. Keeping us safe and rooted as he showed us the possibilities that lay before us. Offering us the world, while anchoring us to safety. Sweet safety. 

What a gift Daddy.

Thank you.

It is easy to be brave when you have a father who loves you.

It is easy to be generous when you have a father who loves you.

It is easy to be bold when you have a father who loves you.

Our gentle giant of a man has been our safe haven. His sweetness tempered by sharp thought and intentional integrity. Steady. He has been the foundation for the statues his children chisel, as his father before him, and those who follow down the line of ancestral love. We all become giants, one by one by one, until we are All One.

You have crafted a man who is easy to love

Your choices, your thoughts aligned with above

Your faith, your actions, the man that you are

Have placed in the sky a new guiding star

Your children and grandchildren have a beacon to guide 

The path hewn by you is straight and it's wide

We have room to traverse the road as we choose

Safe in the life you have paved, choice by choice, groove by groove

We follow the road, free to skip, free to run

Thank you Daddy. You don't even know what you've done.

But I see the power of the path you have hewn

I see the power of your life's steady tune

I know the choices you could have made

I celebrate the life and the price that you've paid

So Daddy, know now that your love is our fuel

Rest in the knowledge there is no more to do

You've won the race that man races each day

You've crafted a life leading your children to the Way.

I love you dad. We all do-so so so much. Thank you for being you. Thank you for millions of hugs and supportive words, and coaching moments, and education and freedom and safety and sound advice and compassionate listening. For everything. You are a powerful being of Light and we are grateful. Well-done, Daddy!! Well-done.