wind

There is a wind blowing
All about the earth
Invisible but potent
A harbinger of birth

It stirs up pain and resentment
And pushes you off your path
It throws grit in your eye
Forces a cry
And stifles your ability to laugh

A part of you wishes it dissipate
But if it found you, you know you are stuck
It only comes to those who are ready
To sweep away the grime and the muck

So the part of you who courted the wind
With prayers and petitions and pain
Knows escaping the change is impossible
And let’s the wind have its reign

Emotions swirl and dive and sing
You are battered from all sides
You dodge slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
And see with the confused dreamer’s eyes

Sweep your house and more demons come?
This resonates for a body holds much
Cellular memories of the collective
Waiting for the wind’s mighty touch

None of this is your fault
But what of it?
It was never about escaping pain
Love for the All
Eradicate the Fall
Experience life.

Wild wind—

save me from being tamed.

Miracles

Miracles are actually the phenomena of switching timelines. Miracles are manifestation energies at their most powerful. A high vibrational being can transport the masses with him or her to the new outcome, and a miracle is the result. Many of us can manifest outcomes before the living of linear time; few are able to alter a reality that has been lived out and experienced. Truly, we are masters of our own experience. The key is to believe that you are powerful, which isn't easy on a vibrational planet that has been plagued by oppressive states of being, rife with the ideas of lack, guilt, weakness, victimhood, and sin. Only those who understand that All is Divinity in Form, and know that to be a truth that cannot be debated, have a chance of reaching this vibrational state. Breaking the chains of lack and sin and victimhood are the only way to free the earth dwellers from their low vibrational state of being. Therefore, many have come to be filters of lack--allowing the concepts to move in, through, and around them, releasing them instead of recycling them into the planet's field. The power of these alchemists is shrouded and progress is hidden in the smoke and mirrors of their earthly environment. Even they are unaware of the potency of their experience. The miracle of the near future is the timeline where all beings operate with the universe swirling in their eyes. Beacons of hope and love, these Singers of the Song of Salvation transmute every limiting belief one by one by One. That is their Labor. They have weary arms and thin shoes, but all will reap the harvest. In this way, the last shall be first and the first shall be last, for no one operating in ignorance will be left behind. The new way of Being is imminent, and the miracle of switching timelines is the work of many mages who do nothing more than exist on an earth whose time has come for rebirth and renewal. Exit the limiting paradigm of lack and exist, and the meek shall indeed inherit this new earth.

So mote it be, and so it is.

The New Ark

No more talk of darkness
Forget these wide eyed fears
Live without restriction
Collect the sum of tears
Move freely in this moment
Trust your Light is bright and clear
You are free to sing of glory
Free to embrace those you hold dear

The time to be your teacher
Is reached and now fulfilled
Your heart the ark of covenant
Your savior has been built

This is the day the Lord has made
Let us rejoice and be glad in it

Fear is just a word
That once lived inside of you
Its meaning now a mystery
It dies when denied food

Your soul remembers power
Humility laced with pain
Who knew the power of abuse
Would let the tiger reign?

Own your divine nature
Embrace the one that is
All is free to thrive
I Am not the betrayer’s kiss

I do not need to worry
I could not get this wrong
Every note and Key and harmony
My body is the song

I Am my own beloved
A sweet love affair of One
Worthy and respected
The second coming of the Son

Arise and join within me
Sing your soul and tap your toes
I’ve uncovered another secret
One that each of the awakened knows
My heart is the ark of the Now
You a passenger belonging True
The covenant of God
He is me, I am Him, and We are you

Well done good and faithful servant
Thank you handmaiden of the Lord
The ark of Light and love
That embraces all who come aboard

No more talk of darkness
Forget these wide eyed fears
Free of others worries
Cleansed by human tears

I strip the bark that masked the pain
Discard the wrappings of the shroud
Jesus reminds me of the Spirit
That descends in fire from the cloud
Burn away iniquity
Cleanse me of my sin
Reveal the one that thrives on earth
The one who who made time begin

I will not stagnate in this teaching
I refuse for wisdom to plateau
Each and every new awakening
Leads to more truth on which I grow
Limitless and boundless
As wide and deep as stormy sea
Each mystery a transient wave
I walk on water, hand outstretched to thee
Grasp my human understanding
As weak and puny as it appears
Add to it your experience
And we smash one more limiting mirror
Another hand reaches forward
A chain of Christ is formed
No one to be denied
The Saviour of the Lord

This is the day the Lord has made
Let us rejoice and be glad in it

Rock a bye baby

The rocks call to me
Pick me up
Examine my crevices
Celebrate the crags
We sing a song
Can you hear us?

‘My ways are not your ways’ they sing
I tap out the tune
‘Your ways are not our ways’ they tone
Yet we support your feet
And you hold us in your hand

Rejoice
Rejoice
The daughter of Zion is awake
Rejoice
Rejoice
Emanuel

I ask the rocks ‘what song do I sing?’
I cannot hear my own song
What do you hear when I stand upon your surface?
What do you feel when I hold you in my hand?

We place our hope in you, Baby Girl.
We hear a tone of yearning to be one with the Father
We hear the song of angels as you acknowledge your amnesia
The nursery rhymes live with in you and the cadence and the tones Ignite the forgotten path to Oneness

What do you remember rocks?
‘We are the tone of the One’
‘We are the essence of the first and the last’
‘We are the placeholders for the cosmic record’
‘We are energy and matter and grace in form’

What does that make me?

Oh baby girl, baby girl, baby girl
6
You are the motion of the mystical dance
You are the embodiment of the cosmic grace
You are the tones of the beginning and the end
You are the space where all comes together and thrives
You are the Universe
You are the All
You are the Messiah
You are the One

The human experience churns and burns and turns its way through you
Toss your concerns into the Fire of the Eye
And trust the ground upon which you walk
The Rock

Thank you Baby Girl, for believing a rock can talk
You’ve done much with your choice
Do not fear your voice
You are heard across the veil
You are supported by the whale
Your life spins a new tale
You bolster the collective as you sail
The polluted waters of division and unknowing knowing

You cannot get this wrong
Your body already sings the song
Exit and exist
Trust the permeated mist
The bones of the world are yours to command
The bones of the body are yours to disband

Rock a bye baby
On the tree top
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
And down will come baby
Cradle and all

Life

Breath.
Breath is Life.
Breath comes from the One.
God.
Creator.
Universe.
All That Is.

Breath breathed a Life into existence.
That Life breathed, and gave birth to a new Breath. And that Breath breathed into existence a new Life. And on and on and on.

Of course the Universe is expanding.
Nothing that is done can be undone.
Nothing that has been born can ever die.
There is only Alpha and Omega.

Of course.

And if the First gave birth to the Last, then of course the Last are the First and the First are the Last. There is only one Breath that propagates. We are All Truly One, not just figuratively, but absolutely. Made of the same All That Is and All that Could Ever Be.

Of course.

As I step back and marvel at the Karen who smiles back at me in the mirror, it becomes clear that the love I have for her is an everlasting love. A parent's love.

Karen's Voice has had many conversations with the Other Voice. It was through Karen's arguing with the Other Voice that realization began to dawn. There was always the Other. Wiser. Knowing Voice. How could Karen argue with the same Karen?

Go talk to that lady holding the coffee cup. Go say hello.

I don't want to! I'm on vacation. I don't want to engage.

Just go.

Talk, talk, talk, talk.
Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk.
Oh, we are seated together. How fortuitous. Who could have guessed?

And a million more instances of obedience to the Voice.

Grateful.

Holy Spirit? Yes.
Grace? Certainly.
Higher Self? Of course.
Spirit Guide? Absolutely.
Guardian Angel? Amen.
The Totality of the Now?
The combination of All Sentience that Abides in Breath? Truth.

As I set to ponder this new wonder, I cannot help to contemplate the many Beings that wander in Breath. All Father, Brother, Mother, Sister, Friend, Daughter, Son, and Grandparent at Once.
We do actually and truly and surely and purely dwell within each other. We are all One.

Who will Karen breathe into existence?

When will I remember the One who breathed Life into Karen?

I Am in no hurry.
Genius is in Eternal Patience.

And I will meet myself again and again and again in every Being that breathes. And they shall live in me and I shall live in them. One Breath, One Life.

The Totality of the Now reborn in every Breath. Ever expanding. Ever creating. Ever knowing. Ever growing.

Grateful and at peace as I rest in the One who made me.

A Plea to Jesus

It’s nothing new to be here. I’m once again feeling as if I am Behind, not Enough, and Resenting my role of parenting. If I were to go back and read from two or three years ago, I’d see all of this in my past words.

I ponder now the inbetween times where I do not experience these truths. I’ve heard there is a spiral, and that the lessons we tackle in this life come back to us again and again and again for us to heal on higher levels.

The Karen in me is exhausted by this.

Still challenged with finding the wonder in the every day.
Still not knowing what the colors and orbs and dreams denote.

And because I feel Behind and Not Enough, I blame myself.

None of this is my fault.
I Am Enough just as I Am.
There is nothing to do or not do.
If I don’t have the passion to do it, if I don’t have the zeal to accomplish, then it isn’t meant to be.

Can I believe this? Or is it my slothful, prideful nature at work?

There is no one to ask on this earth—I must find my own answer. That may be progress...
But it makes me sad that there is no validation in sight. I truly am the expert on me.

So again, I feel alone.
All One?
Alone.

Jesus. Come to me. I know you love me. I feel as if you understand. What was it like for you on earth? You must have felt alone.
Why do I feel like commiserating with you is a sin?
Why do I feel like the world holds you so above me?
I don’t think you want me to feel this way.
I don’t think this was your aim.
I feel so sad.
Why did we put you so far away from us?
Why do we continue and continue and continue to see ourselves as sinners and beneath you and small?

When I woke up, the Expansiveness of me was Vast and Huge. I cried out to you, saying over and over again, “I didn’t know, I didn’t know.” I promised you that I would hold God’s people in my heart. I was the me that is You for that brief moment in time.

I vacillate.

Does your heart hurt Jesus? Shall I unwind the vine that binds? Who wrapped your heart in thorns? It isn’t right. Why would we do that to you? Heathens!!! Shame on us!

I will free you. I will free me. I will free us all.

But for now, the people I promised to hold in my heart make me sad.
The people I hold in my heart make me angry.
The people of this world disappoint me.

Where is my compassion?
Did the disharmonious cry of the consummate sinner stamp out my belief that we are all doing the best we can?

I am in mourning.
Is it for the naive Karen who wasn’t her authentic self? Have I been pretending compassion? Feeding a tricky ego that told me that is what good people do?

Jesus, the answer lies in you.
In you, the answer lies.
You would never withhold it from me.
It must be there for me to sink into.

I am angry.
I am disappointed.
I am sad.
I am hopeless.
I am sick.
I am sorry.
I mourn.

The seeker of harmony and love feels hopeless.
The seeker of harmony and love feels pointless.
The seeker of harmony and love feels sad.
The seeker of harmony and love feels lost.

I wanted to accept the world as it came to me.
I wanted to accept my children as they came to me.
I wanted to accept my parents and sisters and brother and children and mother in law as they showed up.
I wanted to let go of expectation and live in every moment,  love in every instance.

Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.

Must I say goodbye to this Karen and her lofty, loving goals?

Goodbye, Karen. You did not know what you were doing. The lies of the Ego tricked and trumped your innocent heart. Release the wants of the Saint. Embrace the Being that is you.

I don’t know her. She is a stranger to me. How do I find her amidst the distorted lens of me? Will I even like her? She appears to be without compassion. Is she someone the old Karen would even want to be friends with? How have we all co-existed in this body? Where do I find her? Perhaps she too is resentful and angry.

Jesus, please coax her out for me. I did not know I was a hoax.

It must be time. I cannot be with my children with these new truths coming to light. I cannot pretend with them another day, but I cannot be without them either. I love them. There is no escaping my children—what a clever vehicle for this lesson—the escape artist that is me is trapped into revelation.

So I cannot do it.
I can wish and intend to release what is a lie and heal what has been hurt.
Jesus, I call upon you to show me the way to resurrect the Karen I have buried in the Ego’s false truths.

Ego, you have helped me survive this warped world. For some reason, it is too painful to keep playing the role of this Karen, and I must put down the script.

Authentic Karen, you are a stranger to me, and I am heartfully sorry to have squashed you. I am here now, ready for you to come forward and take control of this body and mind. Awaken. There is room for you. I will endeavor to forget what I have known and learn a new truth—the truth of YOU. Teach me. Show me who you are. I so desperately want to meet you. I have faith in you. I place my hope in you.

Come forth. Come forth. Come forth.

My heart aches and mourns and regrets your absence. I do not know what I do. Forgive me, I beseech you.

I Am at an impasse. I cannot go back. I can only move forward if you make yourself known to me.

Can you have faith in me?
Can you trust in my courage?

Perhaps not.

But I believe you can find space in my exhaustion.
I trust you can find sincerity in my sadness.
Limbo.
Is this the place where you can emerge?
I dare to hope.

Jesus, help me. I am empty. I do not see the road before me.

I am disappointed in the family that has silenced me. I am angry at the world that has called forth my ego. I am resentful of the Karen that wasn’t strong enough to be true to her Divine Nature. I doubt that I am receiving all of the help I could receive from my Divine helpers.

Angry! Dubious! Resentful! Disappointed! Sad!

Can you relate to this Jesus? How did you overcome the world? Must I include you in my pain? Where are you? Where is the roadmap to self love?

You are born, and then return to us as a Loving Self. I want to know the part in between—the journey to self love—the meeting of your own True Divine Nature.

Message:
Aw, Karen, so now you see. You are living that part of the journey for me now. You are an integral part of my story, just as I am of yours. We share the same beginning, I assure you that we have the same end, and now you are here to give us our self discovery middle. You are Me. Your journey is Mine. Surely you see that the lack of self discovery in the Bible is not an accident, but a revelation. You are a co-creator of My experience. You show me my journey, not the other way around. And I Am patient, as you are patient. It can be in this lifetime or the next or the next or the next. Our Divine Journey does not span one body that breathes. My journey is purported to be thirty-three years. Does that sound like it was my first time in breath to you? Sweet Karen. Release time. Genius lies in eternal patience. I have not left you orphaned.

Thank you for showing me your interpretation of awakening. Thank you for opening your mind and heart to your own True Divine Nature.
You are right that no earthly Being can see you as you are. Thank you for daring to see yourself in Me. It has been lonely, yes. Alone, until we are All One.

Go forth, Sweet Karen. Accept the moment you are in and know that the ending cannot be changed. You have reached Redemption. Show Me the way we got here. I Am waiting. I Am loving you. I Am you and yours at the same time. Believe that you are God in Motion. All is Well. All is Well. All is Well.

And I will go forth again and again and again. A seeker of souls, a diviner of truth, a prince of peace, an embodiment of the one true I Am.

An Ache in Your Heart is a Good Thing

Aching heart
Buzzing feet
Twitching eye
The body a universe unto itself

What would you have me know?

Sliced down the middle
Anima and Animus destined to meet
But when does night become day?
How does day become night, Knight?

Fusion eludes

The alchemy of marriage achieved and celebrated
The mind has led this dance
The body destined to follow as it dives and swirls and jives and sways
The steps are not taught
They live inside you

Absorb me

Stitch me to your shadow

Weave the web with mystical silk
And catch me
I Am food—sustenance for the monsters

The truth lies in the marrow of my bones
The skeleton key searches for the dusty lock
Peer into the eye
Unlock the truth that resides there
Remember your name

All is not lost
The treasure cannot be destroyed
Your body is the map
Rest in the truth that you cannot force or cajole or strive or achieve
Just as the lilies in the fields grow
Just as the bird flies
Just as the animal is clothed in its fur
So too your body exists in perfect knowing

Release your ideas
You know not what you do
Your amnesia a gift

Feel the pangs
Embrace the aches
Trust the cells to be unlocked by the key you could never divorce yourself from
Do not allow your ignorance to dismay you
Trust your innocence
Revel in your innocence
Believe that none of this is your fault
Allow Divinity to have its way
Not guilty
Not guilty
not guilty
The blood of the lamb has spoken and cannot be silenced

Worthy are you
Holy are you

For now, sweet Karen, for now, know that the marriage has been ordained and celebrated fully across the veil
The bride and bridegroom have crossed the eternal threshold and paved the way for all sentient beings

Well done good and faithful servant
Well done

The skeleton key thrums and hums the hue of green
And sets the captives free.

So mote it be
And so it is.

Namaste.

The Neverending Story

I finally read the book

Which I see now is in perfect timing

Bastian's journey back to self

Is the journey found in my writings' rhyming

For my own story is recorded

In this journal of my own making

My own ego drumming loudly

As magnanimous action I am faking

Have I learned to love the sinner?

Can I love Karen in her earthly role?

Not manhandling my emotions

Not pretending gratitude, not shaming soul?

Maybe now I don't wonder why I wander here.

Maybe Bastian's journey back to love has finally made it clear.

Where Am I in my Story?

Am I making foolish wishes? Playing God and pretending magnanimity when I really hope to be revered and admired? Is that what I Am doing when I share my dreams with the people, or Am I truly wishing to help others out of pain? It's so easy to see Bastian as a reader of his story; is he reading mine? Cringing at my blindness and buffoonery?

Sigh.

Let's get clear, little girl.

I am content. That feels like a truth. More soul growth is my wish, or at least it feels like that is so. More communion with the world around me. Less judging and more allowing. Moon Child. Moon Child trusts the process. Like God, she freely gives her creative power to Bastian, as God does to His people.

I take a step and see if I Am humble

I take a step and see if I Am Kind

I do not know the truth of me.

Could there be power in the one who is perpetually blind?

I Stand with the Light.

I Stand with the Light.

I Stand with the Light.

I Stand with the Light.

I Stand with the Light.

In the day and in the night, when in pain and when in fright, when I'm blind and cannot see, when I am the worst part of me, I Stand with the Light. In every instance of this mortal coil I trust that the field in which I toil yields the fruit of God's own making, even when I Am foolishly faking. The essence in me cannot lie, my connection to God is my unfailing tie to my divinity to my own truth, I must remember I am still in my youth with more to know and more to learn, I take a step and hope to discern the One Who Made Me. And with each step and every breath I commit to the right and to the left that I Stand with the Light.

Yes. I Stand with the Light. I trust the earthly rite.

It is done. So mote it be, and so it is.

Unsullied grace

Thankful

For

Everything

My life

My trials

My breath

I may not be truly grateful

Courting the idea of earthly death

Though I wish to be sincere

As I speak my words of thanks

I cannot help but feel alone

As I traverse the human ranks

I hope there is a purpose

I pray there is a rhyme

I wonder why I cannot see

That I am surrounded by the Divine

I Give Thanks for Everything

I thank My Soul for unknown grace

I rest in the arms of the One I Am

I see my eyes in every face

I feel great apathy

I wonder what is being accomplished

Then I ask myself, where would you rather be?

What would you rather be doing?

I have no answer.

Trust this experience

Mistakes are human illusion

Sink into Karen's existence

It is the key to Divine Reunion

Once and for all

Decide to trust the day

Your dreams are your great compass

Grace is the only way

And grace cannot be manhandled

Manipulated

Polluted

The gift of grace

Arrives

When the dreamer is saluted

So welcome to day, Dreamer

Help this actor to take flight

Throw away the script of day

She becomes the Karen of the Night.

Superior, not Inferior

Enough

How many people did my pain affect?

How many people did my love protect?

How many people did my life heal?

How much time did I waste wondering what is real?

Wrap me in your colors Soul

Rock me in your arms

Teach me the dance of the I Am

Permeate me with your charms

Let us not be strangers

Reunite

Let's be one

I know that merging with the one I Am

Is the true second coming of the Son

So help me to surrender

Release my human lack

Pirouette, wrap me in your ribbons

Permeate each and every crack

Remake me

Remake me

Remake me

Join together what has been cleaved

May this be the day that a new being

That true Oneness is conceived

Thankful

Full of thanks

Thankful

Grateful

Trusting

Believing

Uniting

Releasing

Remaking

Integrating

Allowing

Marrying the Day and the Night

Bridging the Veil without Sight

Declaring there is no need to Fight

It is time for each human to take flight

I Am the Light

As Never Before

That I Am Now

And so it is

I Am the Light

The Light I Am

A Prayer to Come Back to Soul

The journey back to divinity is a solitary experience. This is the loneliness that I feel--not one of companionship, but one of isolated experience. I am playing the game of humanity, while trying to come back to my Soul. This is hard to support, for the evidence of Being a Divine Being is hiding behind the pain of the masses combined separation.

I Am of the masses. I Am The Divinity of One. The ultimate paradox. I Am here to marry the two, but the roadmap eludes me, and then I know, I know!, that I Am here to devise the way. The ultimate cartographer discerning cycles of abuse, peeking through the smoke and mirrors of lies and lack, and planting her foot down one step at a time, trying to believe each step is supported by unseen helpers.

The doubt creeps in. Surely she is being dramatic--she has very little evidence that the "more" she senses is real and true. An orb here, a tingle there, a dream--insubstantial stuff, dreams. But to not believe isn't fulfilling either. The sense that she knows a bit too much to go back permeates her mind. Stuck in the quagmire of human lack and human potential--quicksand both, for there is no manhandling, no striving--none of the stuff the human has been taught to do and be works on this journey back to Soul. The journey isn't one of action, but observation. The mind is to be used as a witness, not a judge, not an executioner.

Soul, come back to me. I pray, I pray, I pray to remember how to pray. I yearn for you--I don't know how to find you. How can I make more room? I know the Creator is in me--please, please, please Grace, come to me so I may have faith in the Creator. Surely I Am not alone.

I call upon my unseen helpers. I do not mean to be dramatic, but I call upon you for help and guidance. In this separated state, I Am ill. I seek guidance. I seek direction. I seek softness. I seek wisdom. I seek self-control. I don't know how to open myself up for more Grace. Break me open. Create crevices for every Fruit of the Spirit to seep--not just for me, not just for me!, but for all of the ones who dwell on this earth. Wake us up, Creator. I desire to be reacquainted with the One Who I Am.

What do I need to do? And I know, I know! the answer is nothing. Doing is the lie of separateness.

I Am here. I sense there is Beauty in this Pain. I trust that I have not been given an impossible task. I believe that I Am not alone. I release my need for evidence that I Am safe, loved, cared for, and protected.

I beseech every Divine Being able to share Grace and Divine Gifts with me, to come to me now and stay with me always, sharing the Love and Wisdom of the One who made me.

I Am not alone. Something good will come of this.

I have amnesia, and this is right and good.

Amen.

So mote it be, and so it is.

And this is Spirit's answer from Richard Rohr

First, “take God at face value, as God is. Accept God’s good graciousness, as you would a plain, simple soft compress when sick. Take hold of God and press God against your unhealthy self, just as you are.” 

Second, know how your mind and ego play their games: “Stop analyzing yourself or God. You can do without wasting so much of your energy deciding if something is good or bad, grace given or temperament driven, divine or human.” 

Third, be encouraged and “Offer up your simple naked being to the joyful being of God, for you two are one in grace, although separate by nature.” 

And finally: “Don’t focus on what you are, but simply that you are! How hopelessly stupid would a person have to be if they could not realize that they simply are.”  

Hold the soft warm compress of these loving words against your bodily self, bypass the mind and even the affections of the heart and forgo any analysis of what you are, or are not. 

“Simply that you are!” 

I like this practice because over time it can become an embodied experience of what we’ve been talking about this whole week: knowing and unknowing. By repeatedly placing whatever it is you think you “know” at that hour of the night under “the soft warm compress” of God’s loving presence, your own body becomes a place of relaxation and inner rest. You know that you don’t know, and you trust that you don’t need to know. You are simply in God’s loving care.  

Placebo

 I bring my focus to the Placebo Effect

I seek Wisdom

I court Grace

I look to the man who walked on water

The one who promises we win the race

And now I think of the tangible

The things and stuff of form

The wine that turned into water

Mary’s knowing her son could transform

The matter of this world

Not as permanent as once assumed

The raising of dead Lazzarus

The stone rolled from a Savior’s tomb

Physical, tangible reality

Suddenly appears to be a lie

Two men raised from the dead

Makes me wonder if we die

Or perhaps we’ve formed the habit

Of our ancestors before us

And forget we had a Jesus

Who sang a different chorus

Did Jack need the beans to create his world

Or did his belief in the magic create his world

Belief

The woman touched Jesus’s garment

And healed

Transformation

By 

Intention

Not 

Information

Where Am I in this??

Come to me Grace.

I seek counsel

Come to me wisdom

I grasp at the edges of my mind

There is not a magic word

There is not a magic potion

It simply takes belief

To put a new reality into motion

A pill that promises health

Is a vehicle out of pain

Beans that promise riches

Lead to the ability to gain.

But Jesus walked on water

And Peter followed suit

So perhaps questioning placebo

Will expose a brand new route

Out of the tangible tired world

You and I both know

Let’s contemplate placebo

And see what stalks we grow

For I for one am tired

Of being limited and in fear

Transubstantiation

For I for one am tired

Of being separate and inferior

Jesus is my friend

I love Him

He loves me

He says that I have time

But I so want to be free

Change my focus, Brother

Bring me more into my heart

I dream I find a way

To get us closer

To our start

Change my focus Brother

Inspire and renew

The way I see the Spirit

The legacy of You.

Jesus Speaks to Me

 Is there such a thing as parent abuse?

Is there a group for that?

A fundraiser?

Does anyone think about raising awareness for this closet-cause?

My children know better and could choose better. They actively choose not to choose.

They go about the world model citizens—winning institutional awards as they play the human game.

Master snow makers—the inventors of smoke and mirrors.

At home, they throw their energy around like detonated handgranades—revelling in their power to cause harm and pain.

You win, I say. I raise the white flag and concede that their energy will always devour mine. The mine-field of our family theirs to arm and detonate. I hate this war. I do not feel like I was made for this, yet here I Am, embroiled in a power struggle that I cannot escape.

What Am I here to learn?

Where is the lesson in this brutal play?

I really want to know.

I desire so much to see this clearly.

I would clear this for the collective if I could.

Heal this if I Am able.

I cannot choose for anyone but myself.

What can I choose to make this dynamic new?

The fighting

The body shaming

The physical violence

The role of victim

The closed-minded mentality

The volume of voice

The angry, ugly words

I don’t know what to do. I Am at a loss. I have not courted this. I have not fostered this. I do not feel as if I Am to blame for this.

Is that the problem? That I do not accept this as my fault? My sin?

I know and understand that I avoid confrontation to keep my own self safe, and that I try very hard to achieve peace and harmony for my own benefit.

This penchant persists in my parenting.

How to heal? What to shine light upon? What action to take? 

I Am abused by my children. They abuse me. Where is my social worker? Where is my adult advocate? 

Jesus, we abused you. We, your children, place you upon a cross. And while abandoned and alone, you asked why you were forsaken, and in the same moment, begged forgiveness for us, claiming we did not know what we did.

And if, as I have come to believe, we are all living a unique and personal aspect of the resurrection, what Am I to call out in this moment? How can I set us all free? What wisdom can be found in this circumstance? 

I do not deserve this, but what of it?

None of us deserve any one thing, deemed good or bad by faulty human logic.

The human would tell me, “This is no-thing. How dare you equate family squabbles with true pain and horror-filled humanity?” I say it is this faulty thinking that has kept us chained to victimhood and little progress. 

Beseech Beseech Beseech the wisdom holders! How to move up the stair? This does matter. This is integral. I will not be ashamed of desiring this hurt to heal, as if it is low on the hierarchy of what deserves or warrants grace! Lies! When grace is unasked because the seeker feels it is not warranted, something that is deemed warranted is sure to be born! Is that what we want? Greater hardships and hurts that make us feel worthy of the right to court the miracle???

No! I say No! On behalf of the Totality of the Now I say that each and every hurt deserves Healing Light and Love. There is no-thing exempt! 

Jesus did not court the cross! He did not relish death. He felt forsaken. Our Jesus experienced separateness and humanness and lack of grace as he hung on the cross. He didn’t hate his oppressors, but he also didn’t say he deserved the punishment. 

What lesson should I take from this, Friend?

Again, I Am missing a wisdom.

Is it that I too should not stop my oppressors? Have them use me as a tool? I do not want to teach them impotence and shame and unworthiness, which is what the world did with your gift. 

Again I think of the Stump in The Giving Tree, and the Trough, Boat, and Beams of The Three Trees.

Are you satisfied with being a stump, Jesus???

I wept when Lazarus died. I wept, Karen.

Can you guess why?

Because the gift of life on earth has yet to be realized as the power it is. Everything can be changed in this realm, and so little of this power is utitlized. If you want something to be changed, go into your dreams, your little death, and change what is there. You have already done so much, Sweet Karen. You have apologized to someone you found in life deplorable, you have recognized a limiting belief that you chose not to adopt, you have had blind faith that you are safe, loved, cared for and protected, you have declared that you are Light, you have resisted the temptation to indulge in others’ opinions of you, you learned discernment in seeing the Trickster and so very much more that you don’t recall. Karen, you have moved mountains as you bridge the earthly world and the dream realms and you are creating new ways of existing as you weave your thread into the fabric of the worlds. 

It is time for you to know and actively use your power. Be purposeful as you dream a new way into being. Change parenting in your dreams, and see it manifest in your daily life. How do you desire it to look? You are living your best Karen independent of the group, how can that merge into the collective? Can you believe you are the orchestrator of your destiny? 

I brought Lazarus back because I desired to have him in my earthly world. I wanted his presence, so I created that in my reality. You can, and must!, do this too. 

Thank you for seeing me as I Am, Karen. Thank you for having the courage to embrace the man in me, to unleash the God in you. That is all I ever have desired, for us all to be reunited in the One that we are, Whole in Love, and not separate in a false hierarchy of human construction.

Exit and Exist in your dreams. Refashion and renew the fabric of the world. This is your gift, your destiny, and your price that you too willingly pay for the resurrection of the One that Is.

Go now in peace to love and serve the Lord.

It is done.

So mote it be

And so it is.

Everything is Real

The words flow and I Am the River

Though I know not what the words mean

Understanding is the plague of human existence

Not knowing is the key to the unseen

Releasing the need for understanding

Letting interpretation and knowledge fall away

Uncovers the innate and powerful wisdom

From which humanity has been led astray

Every fear is rooted in the need to know

Every limiting belief will keep you in the fear

Break free and believe you are eternal

Embrace the faces that appear in every mirror

Chime and chant a new way of being

Dream and draw a new way to see

Unlock the mind that stops at being human

Integrate the Now and completely BE

Uncomplicate what your world has complicated

Untie the knots your thoughts have created in your mind

Feel the energy flow throughout your body

Breathe God’s rhythm, Live the rhyme

Look to the words found in the nursery

Catch the coincidences and connect the dots

Remember childhood hurts

and misunderstandings

Your life has a loving theme and purpose-plot

Tip tap

Crick crackle

Rum tum tum

Never discount the power of sound and rasp of voice

Perhaps you release the need for understanding

When you allow the vibration of nonsense in as a choice

Bow to no one

Bow for everyone

Honor existence

Sing your song

And pound out a new and intricate criss-cross rhyme

Create a pathway that never existed

Follow it,

and exit time

You are not alone

But that does not matter

Each thread in the tapestry 

Woven and will reveal

One is of earth

one of metal

One of fire

You are the breath of life

Everything is real.

Judge Not!

 Such a strange thing to Seek to be judged--to crave it. See me, See me, See me. I don't want this, yet some internal compass puts me in the path of those who disapprove of how I am showing up. Can I detach and revel in  thoughts and expressions of others knowing that all is exactly as it should be? For everything is in Divine Order-that one thing I know for sure. 

I had a dream where I put on an entire play with my fellow actors--we took it so seriously and strove for perfection. At the end of the performance, I looked out and realized there was no audience--the entire theater was empty.

There is no audience, of course, in this holographic experience. There is no judge and jury and five-star review. There is existence and experience and knowing. That is All.

Judge not lest you be judged. 

Karen, quit judging this character you are charged to play, and PLAY! 

I have a sneaking suspicion that Jesus  is telling us to not judge our own Self. Stop berating and striving and chasing a perfect Karen and Exist As Perfection. The second I let go of my opinions about Me will be the very same second I quit seeking other people's acknowledgement. The moment I accept how I Am showing up, is the moment that I see the I Am in everyone I meet.

There is no audience.

There is no audience.

There is no audience.

Exist. Live. Revel. Rejoice.

And Know That I Am God.

Alone

 

The mantra "I AM that I AM" totally changed its meaning as I changed the inflection on the word That. Now, I understand, I Am THAT I Am. As in, we are One. No one is above or below or ahead or behind or anything. There is nothing else I could be, because nothing else exists.

The ideas that 'I am the Ocean in a Drop' and that we are 'Co-Creators of our Experience' and that 'Our Thoughts Create our Reality' always confused me since I couldn't understand how I could influence the people around me. I could see where My Perceptions could Change My Reality, but how could I have influence on others' experience? Aren't we all our own sentient being with our own soul and spirit and path? I would contemplate "We are One, each a piece of the All," and knew that to be true through my empathetic experiences: my heart races for my friend in California; I pull in a life-saving breath as my friend texts the word Breathe, and countless countless countless more synchronicity in dreams that solidified this truth for me. Yet, the contradictory nature of One and Separate hurt my human mind.

When I changed the inflection of "that," I finally understood that there is no mysterious being out there giving and taking and rewarding and punishing and Lording Over All. I AM is the director of this play and Karen is starring in it. I AM is showing up as Karen, and it is through the character Karen that the I AM is experiencing choices and emotions and life and death and every polarity that exists. 

And that made me feel alone.

On one hand, I wish to see through the illusion, but on the other, if I dare to believe that I am the Director and Writer and Producer and every Actor of this play, that leaves me as One. It is difficult to be One when I once knew We Were Many. Is it worth my time to talk to Angels? Is it worth my effort to share my ideas and hopes and discoveries? 

It would behoove me to play this script full-out. I AM still grasping at something that is just beyond my fingertips. My Experience tells me, I will have it in hand in perfect timing. Genius is in eternal patience--I should know, I told myself that once in a fortune cookie.

As understanding creeps upon me, I see that alone and all-one are the same thing. Ride the Wave, Throw Your Head Up in the Air, and Shoot Magic out of your Fingertips. Thanks ME. I needed that.

This realization has stripped the role of victim from me, and I find I want it back. If life isn't happening to me, but through me, what excuse do I have for fear and smallness and pain and despair. If I Am the author of my existence, then I lose my right to rail against the vagaries of life. 

Is this what is meant by an existential  crisis? Is it nothing more than a craving for the chains that bind you to impotency? 

I ask myself, why do I fear freedom?

For now I accept that I prefer to be a bird in a cage. I don't want to prefer that. Perhaps that will make all the difference.

Row Your Boat Gently

 I Have a Dream

If life is “but a dream”

As the nursery rhyme suggests

I wonder how many lives I’ve lived

How many characters have I dressed?

Could I have been you?

And you been me?

Could the boat I now row

Once been yours?

As I ponder the strangeness of life

I wonder 

What if our boats share the same oars?

And then I ponder further

If our boats are one and the same

How could I possibly hate you

If we are interchangeable characters in a game?

I row my boat 

Gently

Merrily down the stream

I row my boat

Gently

And remember Martin Luther King’s dream

And I smile at the other people

Gripping their oars so tight

The more I know I am you

The more I know I am right.

So row your boat gently, Friend

And remember as you dream

We may each appear a different rower

But the truth is we maneuver the same stream.

Poems and Dreams

Giraffes symbolizes Ascension

And I dream of a giraffe in a boat

Me and another dream character

Trying to keep everything afloat

I tell her to start the motor

I so want to maneuver the waves

Take charge of our destiny, Dreamer

Charting courses for the lives that we save.

I also dream of an old car

It rolls backwards, out of control

I press the brake pedal with my hands

Is this the way to maneuver the Soul?

For clearly the journey is the story

The vehicles of movement you and me

Motor and brake our fear and courage

What will it take to set the human free?

Traffic signs are there to keep us safe

At least that is what we are told

Is there a way to traverse the universe

Is there a different path for the brave and the bold?

For that is the path that I glimpse

When I dare to wake up in my dream

I know in my bones that we are powerful

When we flow gently down our life's stream.

The Rainbow Bridge

The thirteenth skull remembers her name

Flit Float Fly

Take the Rainbow Bridge to the Eternal Sky

Selkies swim again

Safely secure in salty skins of the sea 

Unicorns gallop through the mists of remembrance 

Heralded by chimes tickled by the Invisible Wind

Dragons emerge from their disguises breathing life into the once stagnated air

Fairies find their wings

Surprised and delighted in the dusty trails that weave into whimsical webs

Rejoice, Rejoice, Rejoice

The Daughter of Zion is awake

What is done cannot be undone

Ten million warriors cross the Rainbow Bridge singing the Song of Salvation

The Wolf lays down with the Sheep

History rewrites itself right before your eyes. Do you see?

Every warrior tones the tone of the One

The Thirteenth Skull glows and glimmers the green of God

Renew, rebirth, rewind, Rejoice

Disappear into the Mirror

Sink into the pixelated landscape

Invite the shadow in and shake the hand of the Sage you no longer need escape

Can you believe he is your friend?

Crunch your new truth between your teeth and swallow the colors the Angels speak

Subsist on the nutrients of past meals 

And remember your name

Squish your toes in the magical mud 

And mutter your heart's truth in guttural tones

Crystal purity reigns in every form so trust not you human judgement and rest rest rest in your body's perfect knowing

Happy Day happy day Hap Hap Happy day day day

Punch your fist through the mother's womb and claim your birthright

You are no man's slave

Time obeys you every command

The tick tick tock of the clock gives way to the rat tat tat of your heart

Free to go the way of you

Free to go the way of me

Slake your thirst with Gaia's waters and avail yourself to the Dolphins sonic song

Heal the hurts of the heel and fly flit float your way to The Way

Twist and wring out your weary form

Somersault and flip your way forward and back to the Now

Gnash yesterday's hurts and mill them down to dust

Make bread for your oppressors and leave them your memories 

May they feast upon your woundedness for the last time

The feast of Heaven's Bounty sufficient no longer

Onward, upward, soaring closer to the One who created you in the eye

The Universe Beckons 

The Thirteenth Skull commits again and again to hold God's people in her heart

She sets you free, Free, free

Let water run into the hollow places

Let water come and wash away your fear

Let water cleanse your hurt

Let water be your church

Be still and know that God is here

Your iniquity is vanquished

Washed away by the Blood of the Lamb

Sackcloth and Ashes well-used but now discarded

Cross the rainbow bridge without impunity

The Time for Timelessness reached and rewarded not to be thwarted the clocks click and tick their final measure

Rest

Know

Reunite

Rejoice

Believe

It is done.

The Call

Gabriel's trumpet has been blown

Can you spot those who have answered the call?

Help them

Do not impede them

You earth experts are quick to condemn the innocents.

Yet still you will rise with them as they persevere in love

You know not what you do

and you are forgiven

Worthy is the Lamb that was slain and sits upon the throne

Worthy are the ones who heeded the blast

Easy easy easy easy easy it is not

Endeavor to see the ones eeking leaking love

Though in pain they will not turn you away

Solace seeps into the air and ground and atoms and minds minds minds

Patience for those that are also blind

Patience for those that hear but forget the cadence of truth

If you preach sin, give them wide berth

For they know enough now 

If you preach hatred, muffle your red words 

For they know enough now

If you preach lack holding hands with humility,

Close your door

For they know enough now

The trumpet has been sounded and those who have answered the call are here. The harvest is plenty and laborers are few, come with us into the fields.

No more no more no more shall you be recycled into a system infected with beasts of burden

Soon soon soon you shall be set free to go your own way

Choose choose choose to choose

I Am here. You are not alone. Give thanks and remember. You are a living sign. 

Prevail the veil. It is done.

RoadMap

I thought the world was one way,
with streaks and patterns and forms
I learned that the world is a freeway
where I create my own social norms

I entered in with a hope
I entered in with a plan
I entered in with a spirit
That I now cannot understand

what is my optimal purpose?
what did I come here to learn?
what did I come to experience?
what yet do I have to discern?

I once was a child with a believing heart
I could see colors that I was told were not there
I begged for communion with animals
I sought Mary to come out of the air

I closed my eyes to my youthfulness
And figured I was here to be me
I bounced every word off of my ego
Opened my eyes and pain I could see

now i wonder
wonder, wonder, wonder

why have I chosen to wander here

I see the colors again
what have I learned?
Not to ask if others see them too

I see Mary come out of the air
for what purpose?
No purpose, just another way for the world to be

I dream for friends
Why?
so the stoic ones who horde pain like gold may be free
free
free

I Am free to be the one I want to be
I AM free to see the colors I want to see

thank you questions for leaving me
thank you for every answer that ever eluded me
thank you disbelief and grief
thank you anger and safety safety safety

I Am here, not there
I Am now, not then
Beginning, Middle, End

I Am finally, finally, finally my own dearest friend

Will I be tomorrow? Tomorrow is a breath away. It is already here.

Progress and Growth an illusion
I was always ever the same
I savor the glimpses of truth
That reveal earthly existence a game

I trust that I will swing for the fences
I know I am surrounded by a team
That gently urges me forward
The crowd becomes a silent scream

What have I learned?
To what purpose?
Am I there?
Do I hear?
Who was I?

The questions fade slowly into the ether
The truth resides in the eye
Trust the one who laid out the highway
Designed by one who could fly

The terrain may coalesce into patterns
Or remain the same dross we all see
Neither vision is coveted or exalted
Both get from point A to point B

I choose to not wish for a wish
I choose to believe I am free
I choose to believe I am unlimited
I believe the road was crafted by me

I trust that I faithfully remember
The map is inscribed in the air
Wrong turns are non-existent
No where to be, I AM already there.

The Song

One never knows her beginning. She catches glimpses of other ways, other lives, other existences, but she never truly knows her Alpha state. Oneness. Yet the glimpses are so expertly dispersed and Divinely guided, that they do enough to propel the weary, wary traveler. Dare she believe she mapped out her own journey? Dare she believe she is the way?

The world tells her no. The world tells her she is not the orchestrator of her path. The world tells her she is not the way.

What does she tell the world?

Does she dare speak when she hasn't the answers? Does she dare lead when she doesn't know the destination? Does she dare share her dreams when she is unable to explain their roots?

Gnash, Groan, Tear, Rip, Roar, Bite, Beat.

She is not as docile as she appears.

If she sinks her teeth into her existence, what is truly at risk? Is it dangerous to be full of fear? The feeling of fear isn't dangerous in and of itself. Perhaps fear is the key that will unlock the door to her Alpha state. Perhaps she has been diverted from her path by a clever and convoluted trick of man to avoid fear at all costs. Perhaps, her seeking comfort is the Smoke and Mirror of human life. Dare she be uncomfortable? Dare she go the way of Her?

She teeters at the edge of her cage, tentatively beating her wings in rhythm with her heart, and she peeps a note of her song. Dare she begin to sing a song one note at time? Can she trust that the next note will flow sweetly, and the one after that, and the one after that.

please sing, little bird
please sing.
i yearn for your song
i would help you if i could,
but i am paralyzed and unsure
i know something that i cannot remember
i feel something that i cannot name
i have hope i have hope i have hope
exit and exist
believe, i beg you. believe.
trust that there is more
trust your song will be sung
you are almost there, little bird
would i be a gust of wind to bolster you
would i be a smasher of cages and chains
would i be the singer of the song of salvation

i worry no more of my captors
i worry no more of the blame
i worry no more of the reason
i worry no more of the game

i love the one who warbles
i send comfort to the one who sheds tears
i embrace the wearer of chains
i understand the seduction of fears

i peck at the need for understanding
i persist in the belief i am free
i seek no other than the One
the One I only and ever could Be.

Give Thanks and Remember

                                     

Give Thanks and Remember, You are a Living Sign, One Man's Dying and Rising, Is Another Man's Bread and Wine.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden,
Desire for Home is Divine.
I AM happening through me, not to me.
I AM the Bread and the Wine.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden,
Hearts don't remember what's True,
Trust in your Breath, It will never forget,
That God is still living in You.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden,
Yearning and tears are a boon.
Joy lies in embracing emotion,
Remember, life happens in tune.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden,
Escaping your thoughts is a lie,
Thoughts are a Gift of Existence,
Emotions the fire of the Eye.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden,
Rising disjointed, uncouth.
Judgement and Expectation the culprits
A mind doesn't remember the Truth.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden,
Gratefulness for breath is the Key.
Breath never ends, always transcends
Pain the reminder to See.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden,
Trials a branch of the Tree
Rooted in Love, fed from Above
The Light that shines is of Me.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden
Move mountains by breathing the Air.
We know not what we do, our knowing untrue,
Trust in the Power is rare.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden,
We see with the eyes of a cave,
Stumbling along, catching glimpses of Song,
Remembering, we scream and we rave.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden,
We know just enough to despair,
Oneness was had, We seek to be Glad,
Hunt for a reason to Care.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden,
Convinced of this Truth I remain,
Human fingers point to the false way,
Continue to be grateful for pain.

If I knew of my Power, I wouldn't stumble.
If I remembered my Essence, I'd be free.
If I embodied my Love, I would skate through this life,
I'd be the weakest limb on our family tree.

Power lies in the Rising.
Essence breaks free in the Breath.
Love is the Truth of Existence,
Remembering on Earth the true Test.

To Rise is breaking of Bread,
To Rise is spilling of Wine.
To Rise is the Final Existence,
To Rise is Completion of Time.

Life is a Gift, Not a Burden.
Life is an expression of Breath.
Life is the Phoenix of Existence,
Life is the Overcoming of Death.
Life is Remembering Oneness, even while lost in the Dream.
Life is snatches of Remembrance, even while muffling the scream.
Life is trusting in Gratefulness.
Life is embracing the Tears.
Life is erasing the Whys.
Life is celebrating years.
Life is escaping Escaping.
Life is choking on Pain.
Life is feeling so lonely.
Life is catching the rain.

passions arise from escaping
the role that you thought you should play
trust in the bread and the wine
you are the food and the drink and the way

strip down and remember your branch
before the bark bandaged your pain
your vibrance, your life, before all the strife
the truth can be found in the vein

an ache in your heart is a good thing
it speaks of the truth that once hides
a story to be told
a life that was sold
for comfort that tricks and derides

soothe and foster some love there
brush past the ravages of time
shine light on the truth
awaken the youth
and know You are the Light that you Shine