A Prayer to Come Back to Soul

The journey back to divinity is a solitary experience. This is the loneliness that I feel--not one of companionship, but one of isolated experience. I am playing the game of humanity, while trying to come back to my Soul. This is hard to support, for the evidence of Being a Divine Being is hiding behind the pain of the masses combined separation.

I Am of the masses. I Am The Divinity of One. The ultimate paradox. I Am here to marry the two, but the roadmap eludes me, and then I know, I know!, that I Am here to devise the way. The ultimate cartographer discerning cycles of abuse, peeking through the smoke and mirrors of lies and lack, and planting her foot down one step at a time, trying to believe each step is supported by unseen helpers.

The doubt creeps in. Surely she is being dramatic--she has very little evidence that the "more" she senses is real and true. An orb here, a tingle there, a dream--insubstantial stuff, dreams. But to not believe isn't fulfilling either. The sense that she knows a bit too much to go back permeates her mind. Stuck in the quagmire of human lack and human potential--quicksand both, for there is no manhandling, no striving--none of the stuff the human has been taught to do and be works on this journey back to Soul. The journey isn't one of action, but observation. The mind is to be used as a witness, not a judge, not an executioner.

Soul, come back to me. I pray, I pray, I pray to remember how to pray. I yearn for you--I don't know how to find you. How can I make more room? I know the Creator is in me--please, please, please Grace, come to me so I may have faith in the Creator. Surely I Am not alone.

I call upon my unseen helpers. I do not mean to be dramatic, but I call upon you for help and guidance. In this separated state, I Am ill. I seek guidance. I seek direction. I seek softness. I seek wisdom. I seek self-control. I don't know how to open myself up for more Grace. Break me open. Create crevices for every Fruit of the Spirit to seep--not just for me, not just for me!, but for all of the ones who dwell on this earth. Wake us up, Creator. I desire to be reacquainted with the One Who I Am.

What do I need to do? And I know, I know! the answer is nothing. Doing is the lie of separateness.

I Am here. I sense there is Beauty in this Pain. I trust that I have not been given an impossible task. I believe that I Am not alone. I release my need for evidence that I Am safe, loved, cared for, and protected.

I beseech every Divine Being able to share Grace and Divine Gifts with me, to come to me now and stay with me always, sharing the Love and Wisdom of the One who made me.

I Am not alone. Something good will come of this.

I have amnesia, and this is right and good.

Amen.

So mote it be, and so it is.

And this is Spirit's answer from Richard Rohr

First, “take God at face value, as God is. Accept God’s good graciousness, as you would a plain, simple soft compress when sick. Take hold of God and press God against your unhealthy self, just as you are.” 

Second, know how your mind and ego play their games: “Stop analyzing yourself or God. You can do without wasting so much of your energy deciding if something is good or bad, grace given or temperament driven, divine or human.” 

Third, be encouraged and “Offer up your simple naked being to the joyful being of God, for you two are one in grace, although separate by nature.” 

And finally: “Don’t focus on what you are, but simply that you are! How hopelessly stupid would a person have to be if they could not realize that they simply are.”  

Hold the soft warm compress of these loving words against your bodily self, bypass the mind and even the affections of the heart and forgo any analysis of what you are, or are not. 

“Simply that you are!” 

I like this practice because over time it can become an embodied experience of what we’ve been talking about this whole week: knowing and unknowing. By repeatedly placing whatever it is you think you “know” at that hour of the night under “the soft warm compress” of God’s loving presence, your own body becomes a place of relaxation and inner rest. You know that you don’t know, and you trust that you don’t need to know. You are simply in God’s loving care.